1.  Far up in the North Country of Scotland in a loch

      Lives the bonnie monster Nessie in a cave under a rock

      Nu Nessie is the nicest monster that you’ll ever meet

      But to be quite honest, she’s nay very neat

2.  The monster clan was having a party that t’would be quite dressy

      “I’ll never find me tartan skirt,” cried the bonnie monster Nessie

      The bonnie monster lassies and bonnie monster lads said

      “We will help you sort through your things, we would be right glad.”

3.  “Acch!” cried the monsters in distress and shock

      When they saw the mess that was underneath the rock

      “This could take awhile we fear,

      For you’ve nay thrown a thing away in 300 years

CHORUS: And they sang, “Home, home, everything needs their own

                 Home, home, everybody likes their own

                          Own space, own place, home, home, home

4.  So Nessie was told by all of her bonnie friends

       “Yes, we are ready to help to the very end.”

      They rolled up their sleeves and took a deep breath

      And started to tackle three centuries of mess

5.  There were whosits and whatsits and what-cha-ma-call-its

      Oodles and oodles of thingy madoodles

      Oh, no, there’s more doo-hickies galore

      Widgets enough they could open a store

6.  There were half eaten bags of MacDonald happy meals

      Deflated balls and rusted bicycle wheels

      Eighty-nine socks and a wee broken lock

      Four hundred and one empty wrappers of gum

7.  There were records and 8-tracks, cassettes and CD’s

      Of music nay heard in o’er three centuries

      Forty-two pairs of dirty underwear

      Ten years of homework and five teddy bears

8.  Eight thousand crayons and five hundred coloring books

      Halloween costumes of Batman and Captain Hook

      Five miles of string and twenty-one rings

      Two million, five thousand and one other things  WHEW!

11. So the monsters sorted through the things that were nay thrown away

       It took them three months, two weeks and a day

       And they made Nessie take a vow on the sacred stone

       Everything and everyone needs to have a home

12. So a solemn vow was taken by the bonnie monster Nessie

       She promised all her bonnie friends she wouldn’t be so messy

       And the pledge she took in her cave underneath the rock, was

       “I promise to clean my cave once a year, whether it needs it or not!”